Alone in her home, Kagome stared up at the close, dark ceiling in paralytic numbness—unable to move, unable to sleep. As the air began to lighten, her lashes fluttered, her fingers twitched. Thawing slowly from her frozen state, she rose and wandered from the hut. Dawn had not yet broken. Still dressed in her sleeping yukata, she crossed into Inuyasha’s forest as the first red rays of sunlight were filtering through the trees.
Her eyes were as leaden as the heart in her chest. As if of their own accord, her feet carried her to the gully where she’d attempted to flee from the bandits that had pursued her some weeks ago. Slipping out of her sandals, she crept up to the flinty edge. Far below her, the river shimmered like a thread of the purest silver.
It was lovely, she thought with the vaguest of pangs. Clutching the trunk of an overhanging tree for support, she peered out over the edge. Her stomach sank at the gravitational force that seemed to tug her forward. It was a sheer, steep drop from here. If she were to slip from this height, there would be nothing to break her fall but the grey jagged rocks waiting far, far below.
Her mouth ran dry. Sweat slicked her palms. Her toes curled around the sharp ledge of the cliff. As she stared down, the jumble of emotions and unconscious thoughts that had brought her here began to coalesce, to crystallize—bright and straight and narrow as the water flowing out to sea.
She longed to flow with it, to feel herself dispersed and carried away, like she had once in her dreams. No one’s daughter, no one’s wife—no one’s creature. One step was all it would take. One step and she would be over. One step and no one need ever know what she had done.
One step, and she could set all to right.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, placing her hand to her womb as her eyes began to blur. “I’m so sorry…”
Her fingers tightened around that tiny glowing presence. They would go together—find their freedom together. Neither of them to be used as instruments of pain or misery. This was all that she could do for her baby now—her first and final act as a mother.
Her foot slid forward, and there was no turning back.
For the second time in her life, Kagome felt what it was truly like to fall. Her brimming eyes closed. Her fingers skimmed the rough tree bark as she plummeted—
And for the second time in her life, it was his claws that closed around her in her descent.
Kagome screamed as she was ripped from the sky. The wind went out of her lungs as her back hit the stony ground. Sesshoumaru’s furious face loomed just above her own. His glaring gold eyes burned into hers.
“What were you thinking?” he snarled, his claws digging into her shoulders. “You fool…”
Kagome flinched. His words struck her like a physical blow. She cried out harshly as he tightened his bruising grip. Desperately, she struggled beneath him, trying to buck his weight from her hips.
“No!” she gasped. Tears of anguished rage choked her voice. “No, I won’t let you!—I won’t!”
Sesshoumaru snarled again as reiki blazed from her skin. Breaking free from his weakened hold, Kagome dragged herself toward the edge of the cliff, sobbing in agony when he hauled her viciously back. Wildly, she fought against him. His eyes bled red as her power scalded him. Her reiki-laced nails carved blackened trenches across his cheek.
“Kagome,” Sesshoumaru growled as he seized her arms and forced them roughly back. “Stop this, now.”
She thrashed harder than ever against the pain of her confinement. His demonic armor cracked beneath the fierce, panicked flaring of her reiki. The dense smoke of his purification clogged the air. Crimson eyes narrowed at her through the haze. Her chest constricted as his singed fur wrapped around her, flinging her back into a nearby tree.
Drawn whip-like from her waist, the sash of her yukata lashed her as he yanked it loose. In an instant, her wrists were bound behind her. His fur and his touch retreated from her the moment she was firmly secured. Exhausted and helplessly restrained, Kagome whimpered as her shoulders slid down the scratchy trunk. Her knees folded up to shield her naked torso.
Slowly, furiously, Sesshoumaru circled around to face her, his burned flesh still mending as he wrenched his damaged armor from him. Kagome winced at the clang of the warped metal plates crashing to the ground. Her throat ached as she swallowed in trepidation. As he started to step toward her again, the sudden rise of a reiki barrier drove him back.
“I won’t let you,” she seethed bitterly. Her streaming eyes flashed at him through the rosy arc of light. “I won’t let you use us in your schemes anymore!”
“Use you—what are you saying?” Sesshoumaru bit back at her in frustration. “Have you lost your senses?”
For a moment, Kagome faltered at the dark look of confusion on his face. “You’ve made your intentions perfectly clear,” she continued in watery hurt. “It was my own fault for ever trusting you, but I’ll die before I let you use me and the baby to hurt Inuyasha—I will!”
Sesshoumaru frowned. The faintest crease formed between his brows before he sank to his knees before her. Kagome’s eyes widened. The barrier between them flickered as she dropped it in surprise.
“Forgive me,” he murmured, “for speaking to you in anger.” Her breath caught sharply as his gaze met hers. “It’s true that I entered into this agreement seeking to end your marriage. But that was only because…”
His golden eyes gleamed as he reached for her. His claws curved around her ankle. It was the lightest touch, yet she felt the weight of it like an anchor in her soul.
“…Because I wanted you for myself.”
Inuyasha © Rumiko Takahashi
Revised 9/30/22
Kagome is really serious about no one finding out about what she’s done. I did not see that coming! As for Sesshoumaru’s confession, I have the biggest smile on my face at that! But where do you go from here, Hopefully make-up sex!! So much make-up sex!!!!!!!
So glad you enjoyed the confession!! ❤️ Thanks, Nicole! 😊
So much feels! I can’t stop grinning with Sesshomaru’s confession….now that it’s all out in the open I can’t wait to see what will happen….I agree with Nicole…. lots of makeup sex
Haha! So glad you liked the confession!! ❤️
About the make-up sex – We shall see…😊
I really need to read slower!!!! Like a sentence per hour because…. Ugh my life. Until tomorrow, I suppose. I am at the point in this story, where it is the in-between stage of a short hair cut. Waiting for it to grow is pure agony lolol. 😂😂🤣🤣🤣
Lolol I love the metaphor! It’s so true 😂❤️❤️
oh, kagome <\3 the angst. this quote: "but I’ll die before I let you use me and the baby to hurt Inuyasha—I will!”. guess i understimated her love for inuyasha. i mean, ofc she loved him, but to that point… well, thinking like that may be also part of her depression, i guess.
and finally, a confession!!! but char, you give and you take, lol. what a sad chapter.
what i saw in this, though, was maybe kagome finally facing reality. the heartbreaking thing was that her way of taking responsability was suicide, and thats a big no. guess that as a reader, i only needed from her to end, or start the process of ending, the lie she was telling to herself and inuyasha. so sad she had to go over a suicide attempt for that.
thanks, char! you broke my heart, but thanks lmao
Lol so sorry to break your heart! 💔 You’re so right about all the angst…
We love it and we hate it, right? 😅
Thanks so much for sharing, Junot!! 💕
My sentiments echoed many of the other reviewers. I couldn’t stop grinning after that confession! Lol! But where does Kagome go from here? And I don’t feel that she attempted suicide just to protect you inuyasha. I feel she may just have been trying to escape dealing with the problems she created. But I believe if she stops to really analyze her situation, she’ll see that this marriage is just not healthy for her. And you wash is definitely no saint. She want from the comparisons to Kikyo to now being compared to Sango. Inuyasha does not appreciate her for who she is.
I I meant Inuyasha is not a saint. Lol. This voice texting really does screw things up sometimes!
Ha you’re so spot-on about the comparisons! Oh, Inuyasha…
So glad you enjoyed Sesshoumaru’s confession!! Love hearing your take on Kagome’s motives 😊
Thanks for sharing!! ❤️
Hmmm, well this confession is a game changer. I knew there had to be more to what was really going on with Sesshomaru than basically declaring that he used their agreement to try and destroy her marriage to Inuyasha. I’m glad that he finally made his true feelings known to her.
Now the ball is in Kagome’s court. Will she take his confession to heart or will she try to continue on with her farce of a marriage to that jerk-off husband of hers? Or will she wait until the shit hits the fan and Inuyasha tries to kill her and her baby? I know this Kagome is dense but I hope she will not be completely idiotic.
Love or not, one can only take so much from an erratic and emotional nincompoop.
Loved the chapter. My Sesshomaru has been vindicated (in my world at least). lol 🙂
Yay, thanks Cheryl – so glad you loved the chapter!! Lol Yep Sesshoumaru’s intentions turned out to be – if not noble – at least not evil. So that’s something 😅
Love hearing your thoughts on where the story could go from here! Once again Kagome seems to be at a crossroads…
Hope you enjoy the next update! ❤️
i’m so happy that sesshoumaru stopped her from taking her life and that of her child. i know she’s having a hard time, but she needs to face reality. she chose this for herself. of course, she wanted to have inuyasha’s child, but that wasn’t working out to good. the only way to have a child that looked like him was to go to sesshoumaru. i think sesshoumaru said what he did at the end of the last chapter was b/c he felt hurt over the happiness he saw when yasha found out kagome was pregnant. it pains me that inuyasha is still comparing her to other women, as if she isn’t good enough as herself. that can bring a person’s self worth/esteem down. how would he like if she compared him to sesshoumaru or kouga?would he like that?; no, i think not! i’m glad sessho finally said what he was feeling toward kagome. he finally told her the depth of his feelings for her. he wants her as she is and not for who he wants her to be. if he didn’t he never would have agreed to the pact. where this story goes from here is up in the air for me, i think it will end on a very happy note. i see dealing with inuyasha, a mating, lots of loving from the main characters and plenty of pups at the end of this wonderful, intense, emotional, VERY well written sess/kags fan fic. keep up the great writing. c’ya’
Aw thank you, candace! You’re making me blush 😊
It’s very true that when people are hurt or angry they will lash out and say things without thinking. Glad you enjoyed what Sesshoumaru said at the end of this chapter 😊
Hope you enjoy how the story goes from here!!❤️
Oh no! A confession! Sesshoumaru is baring his wants, finally and clearly! Char, you’re so cruel! My gut is telling me this could end in so many ways and I’m crossing my fingers that it’s not a tragedy. Keep up the amazing work! <3
Thank you, Cookie!! Yep, there’s for sure a lot of ways things could go – hope you enjoy the next chapter! 😊❤️
T_T OMG what will happen next hiw will she break the news to inuyasha & i know she some what likes Sesshoumaru what will happen to their relationship
Thanks for sharing, Anki!! 😊 Hope you enjoy where the story goes from here! ❤️
Kagome, I said jump in the WELL, not off a cliff.
Poor girl, I feel her despair and as usual she’s putting Inuyasha before herself and now her baby. Thank goodness Sess was there to save her, and his apology and confession just made my heart sing. Not sure what could happen next, but someone making a true suicide attempt should not be left alone, so I hope Sess carries her off somewhere very far away and stays with her until she’s past this point of self-harm. I think he’s smart enough to know that letting her go back to Inuyasha will further her emotional demise. He needs to tread lightly and show genuine love or she won’t believe his intentions are true. If course this Kagome seems intent on self-sabotage and destruction, so I hope she doesn’t ruin her chances for happiness.
Can’t wait for the next chapter Char!
Thanks, Molly!! Loved hearing your take on this chapter! Kagome’s certainly put herself and Sesshoumaru both in a precarious position…
Hope you like where things go from here on out! 😊❤️
That is her solution? To kill herself and the baby? Uh hello Kagome. The kid did not ask to be created. You hatched this idea and asked Sesshoumaru to be your partner in your scheme. It’s your fault that you did not see he has his own agenda.
Her husband is not worth it. He will hurt or kill the baby once he finds out the truth. Her baby should be her number one priority right now.
At this point, I fail to see why Sesshoumary still cares for this self-destructive woman. She can only blame youth and hormones to a certain extent.
She made her bed and needs to lie in it. At least Sesshoumaru is willing to share the same bed even now.
And by the way, where is Inuyasha? Why is he leaving his pregnant wife alone?
Lol yeah Kagome’s ‘solution’ is desperate at best – not exactly the product of a sound mind…
Priorities seem to be a little off all around 😊 thanks as always for sharing your reactions, Doug!! ❤️❤️
now with the risk of sounding harsh… and get yelled at… i have lost all respect for Kagome after this act. that’s just hypocrisy, wouldn’t what she did hurt Inuyasha? wouldn’t what she planned to do hurt him more? just feeling sorry for herself and take the coward’s way out… killing an innocent child who didn’t ask to be the fruit of an affair…. you went too far girl, no matter how much the hormones and depression can act while being pregnant… this is no reason to kill yourself and your child. i know how women especially trapped in their inner mussing can see the worst in things but this? she doesn’t deserve the child and she doesn’t deserve to feel sorry for herself. grow up and take responsibility for your deeds. for me this outshines the confession from Sesshoumaru.
thx for updating. only a truly talented author can create such work that makes you frustrated and really immerse oneself in the plot. i am amazed at the human kagome you create, that has faults and is making mistakes and foolish decisions. so bravo! i am grateful for the chapters. (didn’t know there were three new chapters, the notification went to spam!)
again thx for updating! will eagerly wait for more!
Thanks, Natalia! So happy to hear you appreciate the ‘human Kagome’ I’m trying to portray 🙂 It’s as difficult to write characters this way as it is to read them D: But I hope that, in the end, this makes for an ultimately more entertaining and satisfying story!
Glad you’ve enjoyed the past few chapters and are looking forward to more! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and reactions!! <3