At the clutch to his wrist, Sesshoumaru paused, glancing back. Kagome sat frozen. She gaped at him, unable to move, to speak. All she knew was that as terrible as it was for her to touch him, it was even more terrible not to feel him at all.

But she couldn’t say this. She couldn’t give voice to the havoc wreaking through her in his presence. She didn’t dare. He was still looking at her, though. The strained seconds were ticking by. She had to say something.

“It aches,” she said thickly.

“Where?” he asked. 

Everywhere, she wanted to say, but didn’t. He took her furled hand up from the bed and smoothed her fingers back. The pinpricks of blood on her palm were already drying, but he raised her hand to his mouth anyway.

“Here?” he murmured against her, slicking his tongue over the puncture marks, salving them with a sting. Kagome shuddered, releasing him to crush her hand to her eyes. The lick set her whole body throbbing, even before he asked her, “Where else?”

“You know,” she whispered wretchedly. “You know where…”

“Yes,” he said darkly, “but you are going to have to say it.”

Kagome swallowed dryly. “…I can’t. You know I can’t.”

“Then I can’t help you.”

Kagome bowed her head, accepting this even as it killed her inside. She wanted him to play the aggressor, to ease her guilty conscience. He knew it as well as she did. Whether he was refusing on principle or out of spite she couldn’t say. 

Maybe he didn’t want to make this easy on her. Maybe he didn’t want to play anymore on her terms. Maybe he was done chasing after her. Maybe he was just tired of it all.

She couldn’t blame him, whatever the case. Gods knew her own nerves were helplessly frayed.

“Maybe now you understand,” he said lowly, as her eyes lifted to him again, “how I have felt every hour of every day.”

Kagome turned away, unable to face him. The hurt was too raw.

“That’s why I can’t. More than anything else. I can’t stop thinking about what you said—”

“Never mind what I said.”

“I can’t. It’s impossible. I can’t ask you to—knowing how you feel for me, you’re the last person I could ask to—to…”

“To what?”

“…To help me,” Kagome bit out. “Because I can’t pretend it wouldn’t mean anything to you.”

“Don’t you understand by now?” Sesshoumaru said, turning her back to him by the chin. “If it doesn’t mean anything to you, then it doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“I don’t believe that,” Kagome said faintly.

Sesshoumaru’s claws pricked her cheeks. “Just say what you want.”

“It’s not what I want.”

He leaned into her, so close his warm breath fanned over her lips. “Then say what you need.”

Kagome shook her head, feeling dazed. As desperate as she was, as unhinged as she felt, she still couldn’t say it. 

So shaking all over, she pulled herself out of his hold, turned her back to him as she lay down on the bed and wrenching her robe up over her hips, she showed him.

Inuyasha © Rumiko Takahashi