“I want to give up my life, my home, my security, my writing, to live with him, to work for him, to be a prostitute for him, anything, even to be fatally hurt by him.”

— Anaïs Nin, Henry and June

 

 

Her fingers bumped with vindictive satisfaction over the beads that ringed his throat.

“Onii-san,” she murmured, and felt his aura flare in anger.

Lying beneath him on the warped wooden floor, she trailed her hand through the dark demonic blood that laced down the planes of his chest. With the thinnest edge of reiki along her nails, she’d opened him up while he labored above her, and now his eyes were bleeding red, too.

“Put it in you,” Sesshoumaru growled, his gaze narrowed and half-mad as her fingers blazed crimson in the lamplight.

Kagome scoffed. “No way.”

Deep red and virulent as sin, his blood held fast to her against gravity’s pull. Despite her frank dismissal of his suggestion, Kagome’s pulse throbbed headily between her thighs. It was tempting as hell, the thought of fucking herself with that youki-laced slickness. Gods only knew what it would do to her, though.

There was untold power in a demon’s blood—particularly a demon as powerful as Sesshoumaru. He might not know the extent of her abilities, but Kagome would be a fool to think she knew the extent of his. In many ways, he was as much a stranger to her now as he had ever been.

Odd, she had to admit, when she could see every hard, naked inch of him straining above her. But the fact remained.

She had barely turned that dribble of blood into smoke when his claws slashed out, and she found herself drenched in a flood of steaming blackish red. Jerking partway up with a gasp, Kagome clapped her palms to his shredded chest while he kept his fist clenched around the base of his cock.

“What the fuck, Sesshoumaru! You always take things way too far…”

The demon lord chuckled, gravelly and dark. She fell back with a huff when he pressed her down, and moved up to crouch above her. His hands smoothed up her belly, giving her slick, heavy breasts a squeeze.

“And you take it all so well,” he rumbled.

Kagome’s back arched, her nipples chafing hot and wet between his claws. Her bloody hands snared in the silk of his hair. Prying one off, he guided her sticky fingers back between her thighs, grazing her with her own infernal touch.

“You’re psychotic,” she choked out.

His cock lay heavy at her sternum, basting in his own blood with every languid thrust. Just as languidly, he smiled down at her. Her bloodied breasts crushed together as he drove the head of his cock between them.

“Yes, little sister,” he seethed in reply.

…

Like an animal in heat, she bucked against him.

Lying on her side with his cock between her legs, Kagome rolled her hips hard into his, reveling in the way he slid full and thick along the hot hungry length of her sex. A wild thought reared in her mind as she locked eyes with him and dug her nails into his shoulder.

“Hit me,” she said.

Any other man would have balked at this, for decency’s sake. But Sesshoumaru wasn’t a man. And when his hand cracked clean across her face, Kagome could only stare up at him in mingled shock and exhilaration. Rolling over onto her back, her naked chest heaved. Her breasts quivered with the foreshocks of orgasm. She had scarcely breathed out the word again before he smacked her other cheek so quick and hard her spine seized and her sex began to spasm.

Her face pounded, hot and angry. The tears that sprang to her eyes felt cool as they dribbled down her flaming cheeks. It was almost a mercy when he crushed her beneath him and dug his claws into her. Kagome gasped at the lancing pain, which shot through that duller ache ebbing through her—

The sweetest of sacrileges.

When he gathered her up to him and smote her prone backside, she cursed and cried out against him, but he didn’t stop—and she didn’t tell him to. Instead she shrieked and struggled while he laid into her like the devil he was. While he crushed his cock to her weeping sex and dragged them both down to the hellish end of it all.

…

”Stop it, I can’t do this…let me up.”

“Be still,” Sesshoumaru panted in her ear, but how could she with the way he was bearing down on her from behind?

Trapped against his bent form from below, Kagome grunted as her arms began to shake from the strain. When she collapsed to her elbows, he merely followed her down, into the mounds of fur that banked her that much deeper into him.

She felt stifled by him, overwhelmed—even before his youki saturated the air around them. Like a current of living smoke, his aura invaded her lungs, flooded her senses. On instinct her reiki pushed back against this dark miasmic invasion, and with a growl, he pressed in on her again.

Each sweeping clash of their energies lit a fire in her blood. Her skin tingled. Her pulse raced. Her throat ran dry as he set her nerves aflame. Naked and trapped so tightly against him, the line between the physical and the spiritual grew helplessly blurred. As the friction of their collisions mounted, Kagome could feel a dark pull building low in her belly, her arousal bleeding freely onto the still hard surface of his shaft.

”Sesshoumaru…” she almost whimpered, as he crushed down on her rising hips mid-slide.

The arms around her waist and shoulders tightened sharply. Sweat slicked their tense fused bodies, as their auras continued to surge and crash into one another—a mimicry of sex so visceral and potent Kagome felt it rocking deeper into the core of her than anything she’d felt before.

Her nipples screamed, untouched. Her empty sex seized convulsively as she caved beneath his onslaught and let it wash over her like a tide of ghostly fire. It ravaged through her soul as he pulsed without her, within her, the aftershocks quaking through them both.

…

It had felt better than any real and honest fuck she’d ever had. And the gravity of this disturbed Kagome in a way she couldn’t express—except to get uproariously drunk for the first time since she’d caved to her twisted desire for him.

“…You,” she slurred as Sesshoumaru stood before her, casting a cool glance over her disheveled home—and her disheveled self. Kicking an empty bottle out of her path, Kagome stalked up to him, stabbing a finger into his silk-clad chest. “You’re a fiend, straight from hell. Try and convince me otherwise.”

Sesshoumaru’s eyes snapped to hers, icy gold. “Go to bed, you drunken fool.”

Kagome’s cheeks burned. “‘Course you’d tell me that.” When he just continued to glare her down, she hooked her finger into the neck of his haori and pulled him after her. “Well? You want me in that bed, don’t you? That’s your endgame—fuck the miko.”

“Fucking you is the furthest thing from my mind,” he said coldly, snatching up her hand in his stony grip. “You reek of sake and you’re acting like a petulant child.”

“Yeah, okay,” Kagome said with a snort. “So what are you still doing here then, Mr.I’m-Not-Trying-To-Fuck?” Sidling up to him, she smiled, false and sweet. “Here to talk about your feelings?”

The frosty simmer of his aura should have warned her to back off. But all the alarm bells in Kagome’s brain had gone dull with the booze.

“Oh wait, I forgot: you don’t have any. You sick, unfeeling son of a—”

Kagome’s teeth clicked together as she was thrown back onto the bed. Her eyes flew wide as Sesshoumaru pinned her at the hips, his dark answering smile sending a chill down her spine.

“No,” he said, clasping her by the jaw. The points of his claws bit into her skin, making her flinch. “I am a sick, unfeeling fiend, sent from hell just to torment you, you stupid, infuriating little wench…”

Kagome’s nose stung fiercely. Her eyes swam, beading her lashes with glints of tears. Swallowing back a hiccup, she grasped at his striped, steely wrist with both hands.

“Oh, Sesshoumaru…don’t be cruel to me. I can’t stand it.”

A terse, growling breath left him like a sigh. His aura relaxed, the tendons in his wrist also. As his claws lifted from her jaw, Kagome drew them to her lips instead.

“Mm, you feel so good like this,” she breathed against his palm. “I love the way you hold me down…” Dragging his clawtip into her mouth, she traced her tongue along its smooth underside, as she tugged open her robe and drew his other hand between her thighs. “I’m so wet for you…can you feel it?”

Sesshoumaru’s eyes slid shut, a muscle clenching in his jaw. “Kagome…”

“No, don’t stop,” she pleaded, rubbing her slick starving flesh against the vise of his fingers. “You’re always so damned careful with me. It’s not like you, and it’s not what I need. I need you; I don’t care if it kills me. I’m dying inside because I need you so bad.”

Sesshoumaru’s eyes opened, tinged red at the edges. Kagome despaired at the sight, even as it thrilled her. When he cupped her full in his palm and rocked the heel of his hand against her swollen clit, she clutched at him and moaned.

“Take this off,” she said lowly, tugging at his haori. “Take it all off and make love to me like you should.”

Sesshoumaru’s chest drew taut beneath her prying hands. He didn’t seem to be breathing as she started to strip him at random. But then he was pushing her hands away, and in a matter of seconds he was as bare against her as she was against him.

Her breasts crushed rapturously to his naked chest. Her legs wrapped around him as he settled into the cradle of her thighs. When she felt the hard broad crown of him pressing at her entrance, she bowed her back and shuddered with a relief so strong she started to weep all over again.

“Oh yes, Sesshoumaru, yes, just like that,” she urged, her hips rolling into him as the mouth of her sex stretched open just around him.

But Sesshoumaru pressed no further, his hand stilling her hips when they rose to try to sink him deeper. Brushing her lips with his, he murmured, “Enough now, Kagome. No more.”

“What—why?” she cried, digging in her heels as if she could hold him there. “Don’t you want me?” Desperately, she ground against him, as her womb quivered and ached. “Gods, you’re going to make me come, just from this…”

Sesshoumaru tensed, growled. The hand pinning her hips abruptly relented. Somewhere above her head there was a sudden, sickening crack—and the red in his eyes cleared in a rush. His raging aura sobered and stilled.

“…Of course I want you, you silly woman,” he said gruffly, pulling back from her. The wrist he’d broken jutted at a gruesome angle, and Kagome felt a disturbing jolt of arousal as he snapped it back into place with a grimace. “…But not like this.”

“Well, I want you,” she said, her lips trembling as she clung to him as best she could. “I want you like this. I want you all the time. I want you to fuck me bloody like you do in my dreams. I want you to sodomize me. I want to suck your cock and feel you explode in my throat. I want to fight with you and make up with you and miss you when you’re gone. I want to give you ten little hanyou bastards and die with your name on my lips because I’m just a silly, stupid woman and I wish that I wasn’t. I wish that I was better than that, but I’m not, I’m just not…”

Collapsing into a sobbing mess against his chest, she could only gaze up at him in watery hurt as he peeled her off him and pressed her to the sheets with a weary look. “…Kagome, go to sleep.”

The miko sniffed, tangling a hand in his hair. “D-don’t…don’t you dare leave me like this.”

“I won’t,” he said, detaching her from the long, silvery strands.

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

Kagome reached for him again, taking his face in both hands. Reverently, she traced the stripes along his cheeks.

“Are we friends, or are we enemies? I keep going back and forth on that…”

“We are neither,” Sesshoumaru said.

Kagome accepted this with a frown. “If I died,” she asked tremulously, “would you find me and bring me back from hell, like you did with Rin-chan?”

“I would,” he answered, as his claws slid back to cradle her at the nape.

Kagome’s eyes fluttered shut, a few tears bleeding through the seams. “That makes me so happy, but it won’t come to that. I don’t intend to die, not really; I don’t wish to be reborn anymore. When the time comes,” she said, trailing her nails dreamily along the rosary that glowed between them, “I’ll seal my soul into this, so that I can be with you always. So that even when I’m gone, I can help you if you need it. So that you can go on, without killing. So that you can have a proper mate, an heir of your own—”

Kagome gasped as Sesshoumaru took her sharply by the shoulders. “Enough of this foolish talk—I won’t hear any more of it.”

Blearily, she gazed up at him. “…You make me wretched, you know.”

“I know,” he said, releasing her slowly.

Her eyes closed as he traced her lips with the pad of his thumb. “I think I make you wretched, too. Something in your eyes, sometimes. In your aura, a shadow…I wish you would tell me what that means. But you won’t—you never tell me anything.”

“I killed you, once.”

Kagome shook her head. “Kami…okay. See this is what I mean—you just say the most ridiculous, annoying things. There’s no point in asking you anything, ever.”

Sesshoumaru’s claws trailed down her throat, tipped over her ribcage. When they circled her breast, when the point of his nail rasped over her nipple, she arched and moaned. His claws encaged her, completely.

“No one touches me like you do,” she confessed on a whimper. “No one, ever.”

“No,” he agreed, just breaking the skin. “Can you not feel it?—how deeply you are mine.”

Kagome did feel it—she felt possessed by him to the depths of her soul. And when he moved down her body, when he crushed his mouth to her sex and thrust his tongue into her, she could only cry out to him for mercy from him.

“Oh, Sesshoumaru, Sesshoumaru…”

Each gasp of his name tore at her heart. She felt reduced by it. Consumed by it. But she couldn’t stop calling out for him. She couldn’t stop it. She felt when he slipped his own hand between his legs and pleasured himself to spare her. And when he thrust his tongue into her ass, she felt that too, with a thrill of ecstasy bordering on terror.

Bordering on madness.

She was coming apart at the seams, and so was he. And when he razed into her, she razed back. And when afterward he broke from her she clung to him like her life depended on it, only distantly aware of the pain that she felt.

“Oh no,” said, “it’s over, it’s over. Don’t leave me, Sesshoumaru. Please, don’t go…”

“I’m not going to leave you,” he said, licking at the burns on her thighs. “Now, sleep.”

Sniffling still, Kagome nodded and turned over, as he settled into the bed at her back.

…

Perhaps half an hour or so passed before her head started to spin and her stomach started to turn. Groaning miserably, she flopped over against him. She was just agonizing over the need to get up and fetch some water when she felt a cup press into her hand.

“…Thanks,” she said grudgingly, cringing away from the piercing brightness of his stare. “Gods, this is so shitty and embarrassing…”

“Fortunately for you, you won’t remember any of it.”

”Yeah, I wish,” Kagome grumbled, taking the world’s most reluctant sip.

“You won’t. You never do,” Sesshoumaru said curtly, pushing the cup back to her when she tried to pawn it off on him. “Every time you get this stinking drunk you profess your undying devotion to me, only to forget it all by sunrise. In a few hours you’ll be back to cursing my name again.”

Lowering the cup, Kagome said narrowly, “I don’t remember professing anything of the sort.”

“Exactly.”

The brisk conceit in his voice made Kagome flush and glower. Pitching the half-drunk cup across the room, she curled stiffly onto her side, falling at once into a state of groggy delirium.

”…Fuck you, Sesshoumaru,” she muttered. “You really are the worst.”

Against the back of her shoulder, his lips curved faintly in reply.

“Whatever you say, my love.”

---

Inuyasha © Rumiko Takahashi