Between Kagome’s ears Rin’s words were still ringing—ricocheting like bullets off the inside of her skull. Shaking her head, the miko struck out from the dark little hut, walking so quickly Ikiryou had no choice but to take off at a trot to keep up.
In vain she strove to calm herself. She could feel the blood boiling in her cheeks, could almost feel the steam pouring from her ears—she felt so hot and angry all over. But who was she so furious at, exactly?—at him, or at herself? Kagome shook her head again. She couldn’t be certain. She couldn’t be certain of anything anymore, it seemed.
Everything was slipping—spiraling out of control.
Leaning hard against the fencepost before her, Kagome dug her nails into the wood and forced herself to breathe—fully and deeply. Breathe, just breathe, she kept telling herself, as Sesshoumaru had used to tell her. But it was like dark water was rising in her lungs, choking and obscuring all else.
Feel my hand in yours, he would say to her in times like this, when the darkness was dragging her under. And she would feel his clawed fingers, so cool and strong, taking hold of her own.
But now he was gone. Her hands were empty.
Kagome clasped them together as she clenched her eyes shut, as she willed her chest to relax from its painful, crushing tightness. This was a panic attack, she realized dimly, clinically. She just needed to step it down, step it down and re-center herself.
Her palms misted, her lungs cramped. Her throat seized, parched and aching. Her reiki pulsed and flared. At her calf, Ikiryou pawed, barking sharply.
She experienced everything as if it were happening outside of herself. She let it happen, categorized and dismissed the events one-by-one. Gradually, she felt herself easing back into the present. She felt the boiling within her subside to a simmer.
Exhaling shallowly, the miko dragged herself up from the fencepost and went forward. Haggard and still short of breath, she arrived at the shrine.
Sweeping the broad stone steps, Kanako went still at the sight of her, shrinking back a little in uncertainty. “…Kagome-sama?”
“Kanako-chan.” The miko swallowed dryly. “I need your help with something.”
The broom fell against the steps with a clatter. Dashing over to the stone lantern where Kagome reclined, Kanako dropped to her knees in the grass, her eyes wide and gleaming. Her expression was so bright and clear and open it was strangely lovely.
“Anything, Kagome-sama—anything!”
“You know that tea you brew to ‘ward off evil’?” Kagome drew in a bracing breath as Kanako nodded eagerly. “If you could make a pot of it and deliver it to Rin-chan, I’d be grateful. There’s a girl who’s in need of it—if you could just bring the tea to Rin-chan and tell her that from me, she’ll know what to do from there.”
It must have been a trick of the light, Kagome figured. Because after she’d said all this, Kanako drew back from her slightly, into the dappled shadows of the maple leaves, and she was her frowning, waifish self once again.
“…Of course, Kagome-sama. I will do so at once.”
Inuyasha © Rumiko Takahashi
OMG STILLLL ON THE EDGE OF MY SEATTTT!!
Ahaha! Promise I won’t leave you hanging much longer <3
Char, I just wanted to say how much I absolutely appreciate you and your writing! I hardly ever leave long, well thought out reviews because I’m usually reading at work or right after work. Your stories are an absolute delight! The characterization, pacing, and overall story are gripping. I always find myself checking back, sometimes multiple times a day, although I am subscribed to email updates, lol! Please let us know if you ever publish a work, I will wholeheartedly support you in all of your future writing endeavors. You are truly talented and reading your works is such a much needed reprieve from the sometimes monotonous day-to-day. Thank you for continuing to write. Best wishes!
Aww thank you so much, mim! That seriously means the world to me <3
Really appreciate your words of support! I hope one day I'll be able to put some original works out there that y'all might enjoy 🙂 In the meantime, I'm having so much fun writing these SessKag stories - just wish I had more time!!
Thanks so much again & best wishes <3 <3 <3
Kagome is ready beat someone’s ass 🤣 I hope she takes it out on Sesshoumaru lol
Lolol if anyone deserves it…XD
<3
Your story is very well written! I can’t wait to read the next part!
Thank you so much – that is wonderful to hear! So glad you’re enjoying the story <3
I love the little morsels you give out about Sesshoumaru and Kagome’s relationship before it devolved into these toxic power plays. Having started the story in media res, it is nice to look back and see that he is capable of being tender (for Sess lol) and taking care of her. Perhaps that is why her mind is fracturing apart now–because she can no longer trust or rely on this one source of unbiased stability in her life. She did not just lose a friend/family member, she lost the ability to be vulnerable. I know Kagome is a real piece of work in this universe, but I can’t help but sympathize with all she has lost. She is incredibly strong and resilient.
Also, I feel like I should have asked earlier, but do you have a patreon or a ko-fi or anything? I don’t have a ton of extra money but would love to support you if possible! Your writing is such a gift.
Aww thank you so much, Alex!! *cries* I don’t have a patreon or anything like that, but from the bottom of my heart I appreciate the words of support so much <3 I'm just happy to be able to share my SessKag stories with folks who enjoy them like yourself! It's been a lot of fun over the years, and I hope to keep on at it! 🙂 (And hopefully one day to publish some original works as well, once real life permits!)
"She did not just lose a friend/family member, she lost the ability to be vulnerable." - Ahhh so well said!! <3 I'm so happy you enjoyed the bit of tenderness and vulnerability in this scene. It really is a difficult balance to try to strike with this characterization of Kagome, so really appreciate the feedback as always! Thanks so much again <3 <3 <3