But the nightmares didn’t stop.
Even after returning to Edo village, visions of the blackened grove and its phantoms continued to haunt Kagome’s dreams. Each night, more horrors of the past re-emerged, rising corpse-like from the depths of her consciousness to linger floating at the surface. Silver hair tangled with dark twisting branches, demon blood swirling with human across the ashes of the killing ground. Within Kagome’s slumbering mind, the past and the present coalesced, merging together in a hellish landscape of blood and terror and despair.
As the days, and then the weeks, trickled by without the detection charm being triggered, Kagome’s desperation grew to a fever-pitch. While the Beast sometimes struck more often, monthly attacks were a minimum. She had vowed to herself that no more girls would die–she had vowed. Brutal reality clashed with the delusions of her insomnia. Every time Kohaku frowned and shook his head upon returning to the village, she was sobered and inflamed in equal measure.
No matter how much land the taijiya scoured, what were the odds that he would encounter the killer in close range? Rationally, Kagome knew the chance was slim to none. Irrationally, she clung to the hope the charm presented with fervent conviction. Finally, after so much heartache, after being empty-handed for so long, the gods had given her this opportunity. How could it come to nothing?
Exhausted, depleted physically and emotionally, Kagome could only pray that Kohaku’s current expedition would be fruitful. In the meantime, she continued to put herself doggedly through the paces. She saw to the villagers in need. She exorcised malicious demons. She assisted the aging Kaede with her duties. She worked to strengthen her spiritual skills and instructed Rin in harnessing her own.
At home, she cooked and cleaned and gardened. As the day grew late at the end of the third week, she was hurrying to finish harvesting a row of medicinal roots when her small trowel deflected against a rock buried in the dirt and cut a bloody gash through the side of her hand. Cursing, Kagome leapt to her feet, hurling the shovel into the woods, kicking over her basket of herbs, and trampling the poor plants into the dirt. Raw-eyed and panting, she raked her grimy hands over face, her nails scratching bloody tracks down her cheeks as she screamed in fatigue and frustration and sheer, helpless rage.
Her shoulders shook with impotent sobs, her jaw locked tight in unspeakable fury. As she surveyed the destruction of her garden, a flash of white appeared out of the corner of her eye. Slowly, she turned toward Inuyasha’s forest, her filthy face burning with humiliation.
“Sesshoumaru,” she greeted with what dignity she had left, wincing as she dashed a sleeve over her dirty stinging skin in vain. “Haven’t seen you around in a while.”
“I have been abroad,” he returned evenly, stepping closer as she circled around the garden’s gate to rest against the fence. “Was your trip to the North a success?”
Digging her nails into the weathered wood behind her, Kagome glanced bitterly away. “I don’t think anything will come of it.”
Sesshoumaru drew to a stop before her, her eyes returning to him as he grasped her lightly by the chin. Dipping the trailing end of his sleeve into a pail of water perched on the fence-post, he pressed the swathe of wet silk to her face, blotting away the dirt that clung to her skin. Kagome’s eyes widened, her breath hitching as he leaned in and trailed his tongue along the shallow scratches in her cheeks.
His saliva numbed her skin like an antiseptic. Prying her equally numb fingers from the beam of the fence, he cleaned them off with his sleeve as well before pressing his open mouth to her wounded hand. Kagome shivered at the damp heat of his breath, at the meticulous grating of his tongue as he sealed over her broken flesh.
Parting at last from her, he met her baffled, apprehensive look with calm detachment. “The scent of your blood is distracting.”
Flustered, Kagome continued to stare, the delirium of her prolonged sleep deprivation raising strange, lurid thoughts to her mind. Vaguely, she wondered if the blood between her legs was a similar distraction to him, and how he would go about tending to that.
His thin pupils contracted further, Kagome’s gaze focusing along with his. “Why did you injure yourself?”
“I…” Kagome began haltingly, her first instinct being to deny the truth. Swallowing, she confessed it instead. “I was upset.”
“That is no excuse,” he said, the bite in his voice making her flinch. “There is no excuse.”
Admonished, she lowered her head. “You’re right.”
As difficult as it was to withstand his cutting disapproval, she understood why he was so harsh with her. It had been more than a year since she’d sincerely attempted to harm herself, but she could still remember how the flames of the funeral pyre had licked at the sky and how his steely grip on her arm had been the only thing preventing her from pitching herself into them. Inuyasha died to protect you, he’d reminded her ruthlessly afterward as she’d cried until her throat gave out. Is this how you would repay him?
In the weeks that had followed, he had scarcely left her alone for a moment—checking her with a swift word or glance whenever she’d stayed too long in bed or attempted to skip a meal, whenever she’d stared too intently at the edge of a knife or the melt-swollen current of a stream. She’d resented him fiercely for it—hated him, almost—but as the days had dragged on, as the dark chasm of her desolation had faded little by little into the distance, she had felt her feelings of respect for him return with grudging reverence, along with her determination to hunt down the Beast who was truly to blame for it all.
Yet distant as it was, the pit of her grief still remained, lurking in the back of her mind, sending up cold, deathly drafts to remind her of its presence. How tempting it was, to retrace her steps to that brittle edge, to give herself over the gravitational pull of its depths. Kagome shuddered even now at the chill.
“Sometimes…sometimes I just feel so much,” she whispered, meeting her brother-in-law’s measured look. “It’s overwhelming, these emotions that come over me. Sometimes, I feel like if I don’t get them out of me somehow, they’ll eat me alive.”
“Then you must find a way to manage these feelings,” he said, holding her gaze intently, “without destroying what is vital.”
“I wish I had your self-control,” Kagome said, crooking a fragile smile. “Then it would be easy.” Dropping her gaze to her cleaned, clasped hands, she sighed. “I know you don’t like to talk about this, but it’s just the lack of closure that takes a toll on me. I got my hopes up this time that we finally had a way of catching that awful killer, but now it seems just as unlikely as it’s ever been.”
“Perhaps it is time then,” Sesshoumaru said lowly, “for you to let go of this vendetta.”
“Let go of it?” Kagome glanced up at him sharply, frowning. “What else do I have, apart from this?”
Sesshoumaru’s expression hardened, her stomach sinking at the sight. As he turned on his heel to walk away, she reached out, taking him by the hand. Pausing, he glanced back.
“Please,” she said thickly, straightening from the fence. “With your knowledge and abilities, I’m sure there’s a way. So please, Sesshoumaru—please help me put an end to this monster, once and for all.”
Cool, stony claws slid away from her fingers, curling into a fist as he resumed his departure. Kagome looked after him in crushing disappointment, his reply lingering in the growing space between them.
“I cannot.”
Inuyasha © Rumiko Takahashi
Sorry if this is seen as a spoiler, but a theory developed in my head that I kinda need to get out:
Sesshoumaru is the ‘Beast’
After having read this last chapter, his insistence for her to let it go, saying her blood is distracting and especially that last line- “I cannot” more or less confirmed it for me when putting it together with all the other clues. After all, he didn’t say he wouldn’t but rather he couldn’t.
The clues that the beast they were hunting was theorized to be ‘powerful’, ‘cunning’ and most of all ‘ashamed’, and then that scene in which Kagame felt a presence while bathing brought me back to the biggest hint of all, the first chapter. There was such an intense level of disgust, hatred and hurt I felt from Kagome towards Sesshoumaru that didn’t make sense compared to the mild acceptance and respect she feels towards him in the story’s current chapters.
But then remembering all these chapters take place 6 months before the first, it all comes full circle. The subjugation beads are the biggest give away for me. Kagame probably placed those on him after finding out what he’s been doing, as a way to keep his obsession and lust focused on her and to prevent him from hurting anyone else. It also explains why, despite the obvious disdain she has for him, she cannot bring herself to kill him and is truly hurt by what he’s done as he is ‘the only family she had left.’
Incredibly well done Char, to take a one shot idea and spin it into such an intriguing, winding tale. I apologize if I said too much, especially since this is just my opinion and could be wrong but please keep up the good work. I just love how you wrote aspects of the story like a detective novel and I can’t help but theorize when reading a good mystery.
Matches up with what I’ve been thinking. Exciting to see it playing out.
Glad to hear it! <3
Waaa! Omg, thank you so much for taking the time to lay out your theories thus far in detail! So much loved reading your take and opinions! <3
Beyond happy you're enjoying the mystery of this tale! It's my first time really writing a crime story like this, although I've been wanting to do so for some time. 🙂 (I'm a HUGE fan of the crime/mystery genre!) So seriously, thank you again and hope that you enjoy how the story unfolds from here!!
<3 <3
Ah imagine my delight when I saw that there were many more chapters to read on your blog. Words cant express my love for dark stories and this one in particular. Your sesshomaru is perfect.
And as mess up as it sounds I hope he’s the murderer, if just to see how this plays out.
Hey, Inuyaoi!! So happy you decided to come check out my blog! 🙂 So thrilled you’re enjoying this dark story – and it’s awesome to hear that you like how I’m writing Sesshoumaru! (He’s a tough cookie lol)
Hope you enjoy how the story plays out! <3
Alas, all signs point to Sesshoumaru as the serial killer and rapist. Like I said in an earlier chapter review, I think Kagome is his fixation. Unless the twist is she made herself his obsession in order to stop the killings.
What I don’t understand is why he turned out this way when he is a daiyoukai. You would think a lower level demon would be more susceptible to its baser instincts. But a highest level youkai and a cardinal lord? Could his fixation with a human, aka Kagome, broke his famous control over his emotions? Or was the control tenuous to begin with?
Would he end up killing her if she lets him touch her?
Love hearing your speculations and theories, Doug!! Thanks so much for sharing! <3
Hope you enjoy how the story progresses 🙂
I am confused, if she hates him or is disgusted by him so much why would she say this: ” Vaguely, she wondered if the blood between her legs was a similar distraction to him, and how he would go about tending to that.”
and this:
“Let go of it?” Kagome glanced up at him sharply, frowning. “What else do I have, apart from this?”
Sesshoumaru’s expression hardened, her stomach sinking at the sight. As he turned on his heel to walk away, she reached out, taking him by the hand. Pausing, he glanced back.”
He is obviously hurt by her saying she doesn’t have anything left. He feels that he is here he is something.
Her interactions always have so much sexual tension, and she seems to enjoy it as a guilty pleasure. I guess I have reread the first chapter, because I forgot what happened in it.
yeah the first chapter takes place 6 months in the future, so hopefully that explains some of the discrepancies! Thanks so much for sharing, Badtzmaru! 🙂 Hope you like where the story goes from here! <3
My thought is that Sesshomaru is not the killer. The clues that suggest that it could be him is too easy. I think that he allowed himself to become Kagome’s object of hate and disgust to divest herself of her self-loathing and failure for maybe not being able to stop the killings or to find out who the Beast is. And to maybe to keep her mind off of suicide. I think he loves her that much.
Somehow, I get the impression that maybe Inuyasha was/is the killer. Thinking back on what Kagome’s thoughts on how he became fixated on the killer and saying that Tessaiga whispered to him and that it brooded in his blood when the Beast was going to strike again (part 4). Maybe Inuyasha’s spirit with the aid of Tessaiga or some kind of magic materializes as his Beast, does the killing and then dematerializes afterwards leaving no traces of evidence but it’s Inuyasha’s ghost that still feels the shame…well something along those lines. The victim, Kanako, had long raven dark hair; maybe that could have been why her body wasn’t burnt like the others because she may have been reminiscent of Kagome. I know it sounds kind of far fetched but it’s just a thought.
So when Kagome asks Sesshomaru to help put an end to the monster and he say he cannot, it’s because he cannot even touch Tessaiga if the sword is indeed connected with the killings. I believe Sesshomaru knows who the killer is and I still think Inuyasha is the killer…why? That’s the million dollar question. 🙂
I love a good mystery!!!
Wow, absolutely loved reading your theory, Cheryl!! Thanks so much for sharing it in detail, drawing upon different scenes from the story so far!
Sincerely hope you enjoy how the tale unfolds 🙂 Thanks again! <3
I came over your blog after seeing the link on AO3 and I stayed up until 4am last night catching up on all of your stories! Oh my I love them so much – you write one of the sexiest & most dangerous Sesshomarus out there and your lemons are crazy hot! I love the theories about the Beast and I too was thinking it has to be Sess, but Cheryl’s theory about Inuyasha now has me second guessing … very intriguing! Can’t wait for more!
Hey Molly!! Thanks so much for checking out the blog! 🙂 So happy you’re enjoying the stories here – and thanks so much for the compliment about my Sesshoumarus! Sexy and dangerous is exactly how I strive to portray him haha!
Hope you enjoy how Control and the other ongoing stories progress! <3
And confirmation at last: //“Then you must find a way to manage these feelings,” he said, holding her gaze intently, “without destroying what is vital.”//
Bad Sessho!
hehehe 😈