“You sure you’re feeling up to this?”

Kagome turned toward her husband with a mustered smile. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

Inuyasha frowned as she hefted her pack over her shoulders. Clearly, he had his reservations—and after the events of this morning, so did she.

But Kagome had made up her mind. She would see this through just like she’d said she would. The decision gave her much-needed strength as she wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace.

“Be careful,” he murmured, hugging her back.

Kagome nodded. Her stomach clenched as she made her way to the door. Outside, the temperature was already scorching. A faint shimmer of heat rose from the dusty road. She was getting a later start than usual, and the summer sun was punishing her for it mercilessly.

Only once she was well beyond the village could she make a safe break for the shelter of the trees. A sigh escaped her as she stepped into the shade of Inuyasha’s forest. Its coolness bathed over her like water, like mercy.

She’d forsaken her stuffy miko garb for a simple yukata. It made for slower going through the wilderness, but the lightness she felt was more than worth it. In truth, Kagome felt freer than she had in years, which struck her as bitterly ironic, considering the circumstances. Yet how easy it was, she reflected, to slip into a different set of clothes and feel for a moment like an entirely different person.

As she walked on, her thoughts continued to wander freely, down the path of remembrance.

Breathing in the crisp autumn air, Kagome readjusted the taut straps of her backpack as Edo village came into sight at last. Her yellow schoolbag was even more ponderous than usual with all the rice, vegetables and other sundries the neighboring villagers had insisted on giving her in exchange for her help. With a weary smile, she crossed through the bustling square and made her way home.

“Inuyasha!” she greeted cheerily as she stepped across the threshold, slipping off her heavy pack with a sigh of relief. “Come look at what the—”

“Where the hell have you been?” he cut her off angrily.

Kagome froze in surprise. Standing before the cold hearth with arms crossed, Inuyasha fixed her with a glare.

“I…I just walked over to the next village. One of the farmers came here for help—some rat youkai had infested a couple of their barns, so I went with him to clear them out.”

“You just left with some random guy,” her husband responded tersely, “without even saying a word to me about it.”

Kagome’s brow furrowed. “I only went a couple of miles away…”

“That’s not the point, Kagome. You can’t just up and leave the village whenever you want.” Inuyasha scowled. “If you’d just asked me first, I might’ve said yes.”

“Oh, so that’s what this is about,” Kagome said narrowly, setting her hands on her hips. “You’re just mad because I didn’t ask your permission!”

Inuyasha’s ears flattened. “So what if I am? You can’t just go gallivanting off on your own and expect me to be okay with it!”

Kagome glared. “You didn’t have such an issue with me doing things on my own before.”

“Before you weren’t my wife,” he bit out. “But now you are, and if I say come to me first before just going off and doing things, you need to respect that.”

Hot tears sprang to Kagome’s eyes. Inuyasha released a frustrated breath.

“Don’t you dare start crying…I’m just looking out for you, and staying here in the village is what’s best. You don’t see Sango running off anymore now that she’s married.”

“Sango has young children,” Kagome countered tremulously. “She has to stay here all the time.”

“Yeah, and pretty soon we’ll have kids too, so you’d better just get used to the idea.” Glancing away, Inuyasha grumbled, “If you ask me, that’s your problem—too much free time on your hands…”

Kagome’s fists shook at her sides. Clenching her jaw, she crossed to the door.

“I’m going outside,” she snapped at him over her shoulder. “I’m assuming I don’t need to ask your permission for that!”

“Hey! You get back here—”

But Kagome was already halfway down the road, propelled by sheer aggravation. Her particularly good mood had evaporated completely. Jerking her shawl roughly around her shoulders, she leaned with a huff against a fence near the edge of town. Her fuming face cooled slowly in the brisk, breezy air.

As the sun began to set, a trio of familiar figures appeared on the horizon. Smiling, Kagome straightened with a wave.

“Kagome-sama!” Kohaku waved back, flying over to her on Kirara.

“How was your trip?” she asked warmly as he leapt down, the cat youkai transforming beside him with a chirp of greeting.

“Rather dull, actually.” The teenager scratched behind his ear with a sideways glance. His eyes widened comically as he found the empty space next to him suddenly occupied by Sesshoumaru. “But I learned a lot, of course,” he hastily amended. His cheeks reddened as he looked back to Kagome in a panic. “Er, have you seen Rin-chan by any chance? I brought her some bulbs for her garden.”

Schooling her expression, Kagome shook her head. 

“I’ll try Kaede-sama’s place, then,” he said, already taking off in that direction as he dipped his head toward his mentor in a quick, respectful bow. “Sesshoumaru-sama.”

As the daiyoukai inclined his own head in turn, the taijiya turned and sprinted away in a fluster. Kagome’s hand rose to her lips as she laughed.

“Poor Kohaku-kun…I think you may have cost him a few nights’ sleep,” she said with a grin.

Sesshoumaru’s golden eyes closed briefly, the corners of his lips rising as well. “A young man has them to spare. It is a few days without action which he finds difficult to endure.”

“I’m guessing your journey wasn’t exactly full of exciting battles, then?” she ventured, stepping out to meet him as he approached.

“Settling the border dispute proved decidedly less thrilling than Kohaku had anticipated. But not all matters need end in bloodshed.”

Kagome’s glance was wry. “Funny to hear that, coming from you. Not so long ago, you would’ve cut down anyone who stood in your way.”

“Then perhaps I have come to understand,” Sesshoumaru said, drawing to a stop before her, “that what I desire cannot always be taken by force.”

Kagome’s teasing smile slipped a little as she gripped her shawl tighter around her. “And did you?—get what you wanted, that is.”

Sesshoumaru held her gaze. “The land was mine already. Fealty and tribute are what I have won. The displaced inuyoukai will live peaceably within my domain—in the high northern mountains and the white skies above, where our ancestors once roamed together, in ages past.”

“That sounds lovely,” Kagome said with soft sincerity. “I don’t think we ever passed by there, during our travels.” A touch of yearning crept into her tone. “There’s still so much of this world I’d like to see…”

In their nomadic quest for the Shikon shards, a true love for these ancient lands had awoken in Kagome. As she looked down the road, over the sloping foothills and out toward the wooded horizon, she could feel it burning in her still—a call within her which the wild heart of the world seemed to answer, beckoning her to undiscovered places and new adventures. 

This was why she had chosen to live in this time—in this era where the world was still unknown and untamed, dark and dangerous and mystic. 

Beautiful and alluring beyond words.

“Then you should see it.”

Kagome’s longing gaze turned to Sesshoumaru. Lit by the setting sun, his waving silver hair gleamed faintly red. His pale clothes and burnished armor glowed with reflected heat. But his features were shadowed, his preternatural eyes deep and cool and secret as they gazed at her in return.

Checking herself, Kagome glanced away, feeling foolish. It was because of Inuyasha that she had chosen to live in Sengoku Jidai, and it was his words that came back to her in a wave of bitter rebuke.

“I’m a married woman now,” she echoed with a twist of lip. “My place is here, in the village.”

For a moment, Sesshoumaru regarded her in measured silence. “Have you and my brother been quarreling again?”

Kagome laughed shortly, her eyes returning to his in resignation. “Is it that obvious?”

Sesshoumaru stepped closer to her, his face tilting in a show of contemplation. “There is a certain tension in the line of your jaw. A defensiveness in your posture, which is telling.”

“Geez,” she said, deflating with a sigh. “You can read me like a book, can’t you?” Crossing her arms over her chest, she gazed back toward the village. “I love Edo—truly I do—but sometimes I feel like I’m climbing up the walls here.” Her gaze sharpened to a glare. “Why can’t Inuyasha understand that?”

“Because he is not like you,” Sesshoumaru answered. 

With a wistful smile, Kagome reached up, brushing a windswept strand of his hair from her cheek. “No, I guess not.”

Inuyasha would never understand.

He never could understand, what had driven Kagome to do the things she’d done. The things she’d felt compelled to do.

As she broke past the line of the trees and stepped out into the abandoned village once more, she wondered, for the first time, if she really understood herself.

The ripe grass burst beneath the soles of her sandals, the hot breeze rich with the decadent scents of loamy earth and sun-baked leaves. In the afternoon radiance, even the shabby huts appeared to shine, their weathered wood silvered and faintly shimmering. All Kagome’s senses seemed sharper, more attuned. Her nerves tingled with an almost frenetic energy as she pushed past the wispy reed curtain and discovered she was not alone.

“Sesshoumaru,” she whispered. The burdensome backpack she was about to set down fell leadenly from her hand.

In the scant light of the hut, his golden eyes were all she could see, at first. Eerily, they gleamed at her through the shadows, with a fixed, predatory focus that had the fine hairs at her nape standing on end. As he rose from the left wall and began to approach her, Kagome had the distinct, primal impression of trespassing upon a place she never should have entered—of stumbling upon the den of some terrible, lurking beast.

“W-wait,” she stammered, holding out her hands as she backed away toward the opposite wall. “I…” She swallowed, dislodging the words that even now seemed to stick in her throat. “Sesshoumaru, I’m pregnant. Our arrangement is over—I…I just wanted to let you know.”

Pausing only for a moment, he continued to advance upon her. “You came here,” he said lowly, “to tell me this?”

Frowning, Kagome unconsciously retreated further into the hut. “I said I would meet you here…” her voice trailed off, her eyes narrowing as she registered his stark lack of reaction to this news.

And still he was stalking toward her through the darkness, cutting her off from her only way out.

“You knew,” she breathed. Her tone sharpened in accusation as she traced her symptoms back to their origin. “That day at the stream—you knew even then, didn’t you?”

“I suspected,” he replied, pressing in on her another few steps.

“And still, you…” Kagome choked on the realization as her back hit the far wall of the hut. “You wanted this—you…”

“Wanted you?” Sesshoumaru offered with a mirthless smile. A pale shaft of light slanted across his sharp, feral features. “Yes, Kagome—I have wanted you for some time.”

Her heart pounded erratically as she flattened against the wall behind her. A wave of dizzying shock threatenened to overtake her. “Sesshoumaru…”

His youki flared out, crackling like dark fire against her skin. Crossing the short distance between them in an instant, he pressed his unarmored body to hers. His ivory claws sunk into the wall beside her cheeks.

“Say it again.” His searing eyes locked with hers in dreadful promise, his mouth a hairsbreadth from her own. “Say my name.”

Kagome stared helplessly back, feeling herself standing on the edge of a knife.

On the edge of nothing at all.

In free-fall, she clung to him, hopeless and lost. Empty of everything but the choice of that moment.

“Sesshoumaru,” she faintly said.

---

Inuyasha © Rumiko Takahashi

Revised 8/10/22

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