The weeks wore on.

With each day that went by, Kagome’s anxiety grew. She dreaded the passing of time almost as much as she anticipated it. Soon—very soon—she would know whether her plan had been a success. Or a failure.

She was hard-pressed to say which outcome she feared the most.

“You still haven’t started cooking yet?”

Tensing, Kagome turned. Just inside the doorway, her husband stood scowling, his arms crossed at the chest.

“No, Inuyasha. One of the villagers broke his leg—I had to help Baa-chan set it.”

“Well, when’s dinner gonna be ready, then?”

“I don’t know,” Kagome said irritably. “I just got back. An hour?”

“An hour!”

“Look, if you’re so impatient, why don’t you just fix something for yourself?”

“Keh,” Inuyasha scoffed. “Cooking is women’s work.”

“That’s just stupid. You won’t always have a woman around to cook for you, you know.”

His arms uncrossed, his expression darkening. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Kagome let out a frustrated breath. And now he was reading into things—again.

“All I meant,” she bit out, “is that you shouldn’t have to rely on others just to feed yourself.”

Inuyasha’s ears flattened. “That’s not the point, and you know it. Obviously, I can ‘feed myself.’ I’m not a little kid.”

Well, he was certainly acting like one right now, Kagome thought. Swallowing back the retort, she set her hands on her hips.

“Okay—then tell me, Inuyasha, what is the point?”

“The point is that it’s your job,” he growled back. “Sango’s got three brats, runs a business, and still has dinner on the table by sundown—what’s your excuse?”

Kagome’s eyes flashed, her face going hot. And now he was comparing her to Sango—again. He loved nothing more than to throw her friend’s domestic perfection back in her face at times like this.

“Sorry I’m not as good of a wife as Sango,” she said bitterly, turning her back to him. “But I’ll get right on cooking your dinner now.”

“Forget it,” he muttered. “I’m going over to Miroku’s place—maybe they have something left over.”

As the door swung shut behind him, Kagome lashed out at the empty kettle, sending it spinning across the room. Ignoring the pangs in her stomach, she went angrily to bed.

She stared at the wall, not the least bit tired. The empty room seemed to close in around her. She hated the silence, hated it even more than the fighting. The first few days after she’d returned to the village had been so wonderful that she’d forgotten how strained things could be.

It hadn’t taken them long to start slipping back into their old ways—him barking at her to get her priorities straight and her resenting him for being so needy…among other things. It seemed like there was always something for them to lock horns over, these days.

When Inuyasha returned home some hours later, she didn’t even bother to acknowledge it. She felt him lie down beside her in similar standoffishness. It was a long while before either of them surrendered to sleep.

In the morning, Kagome awoke, stiff and achy. Her stomach was painfully cramped. Assuming her lack of dinner to be the cause, she rose and set about to make breakfast—when she noticed a spot of red glaring up at her from her side of the futon.

Her heart froze at the sight.

With jerky fingers, she pulled down her pajama shorts and underwear, staring mutely at the blood staining the crotch of her panties. Her shoulders shook. Tears gathered in her eyes.

“Everything okay?” a gruff voice asked behind her.

Swallowing, she looked back. Propped up on one shoulder, Inuyasha regarded her in groggy concern.

“It’s nothing,” she answered shortly, hiking up her bottoms. “Just girl problems.”

“…Got it,” he said, rolling over onto his side again. If there was one topic of conversation he never wanted to pursue, it was that.

Rifling through a wicker chest, Kagome retrieved a near-empty box of tampons. It seemed, unfortunately, that she would need to restock soon. Her supplies were dwindling now that Sango and a few of the other village women had started to adopt the practice—though most remained staunchly opposed to the idea.

Grabbing some clean clothes, she left the hut and found a secluded spot to tend to herself. As she ground the cardboard applicator down into the dirt, she forced herself to confront the reality of the situation: she was not pregnant.

She had made herself an adulteress—for nothing.

Under this cloud of resignation, Kagome went about her daily chores—checking on villagers with a false smile, entertaining rumors of youkai misconduct with feigned concern. Pretending to listen, pretending even to care. Never before had she felt so empty inside.

As the long day drew at last to a close, she sat alone on a stool outside of Kaede’s hut, stripping seeds from fruit pods for one of the elder miko’s ‘special’ salves. With a wary glance, she saw Sesshoumaru approaching her. They had barely spoken since her return to the village. Kagome had given him as wide a berth as she possibly could without arousing suspicion. But she couldn’t avoid this anymore.

She couldn’t avoid him anymore.

“It didn’t work,” she said to him as soon as he stopped.

“I know.”

She glanced up at him sharply. “How?”

“Your scent,” he said, as though it were obvious.

Kagome reddened. She supposed that, to him, it probably was. Unbidden, the image of a shark rose to mind—from how far away, she wondered narrowly, could Sesshoumaru smell her blood?

Unnecessarily, he stated, “We will have to try again.”

Kagome looked away from him, setting her jaw. “We shouldn’t talk about this here.”

As if on cue, Rin bounded toward them. Pink petals fluttered like snowflakes from the flowers in her hair. All gangly limbs and starry eyes, she skidded to a halt before her beloved guardian, beaming between him and Kagome both.

“Sesshoumaru-sama!” she said breathlessly. “You’re just in time—Shippou-kun’s made a glass that changes the color of the light. It’ll be amazing to see at sunset! You and Kagome-chan have to come and watch.”

Taking Sesshoumaru by the hand, she began to pull him along, though his eyes remained fixed on Kagome.

“When?” he asked her.

Kagome frowned at the insistence in his tone. She understood that he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible—so did she—but she was tired of men making demands upon her.

“Ten days or so,” was her clipped reply. “I’ll let you know.”

With a nod, he turned from her, allowing his ward to lead him along. Kagome watched them go, her heart iron-heavy in her chest.

“Come on, Kagome-chan,” Rin called back happily over her shoulder. “You won’t want to miss this!”

Mustering a smile, Kagome followed along behind them, to watch the sun set on yet another dismal day.

---

Inuyasha © Rumiko Takahashi

Revised 7/6/22

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